Look into podcasts, articles, books, groups, TikTok videos, and more by creators in your new community of fellow chronic illness baddies. Turn to the experiences of othersĪs we grapple with a forced change to our identity, looking at the stories of how others navigated similar circumstances can be a guide for the road ahead. It always finds its way through, so create spaces where you can hold it with intention and the respect it deserves. The grief will come whether we allow it to or not.
Whatever that looks like for you, make it a priority. You might want to find a therapist with experience supporting clients with similar diagnoses, lean on a trusted friend, mentor, or coach to connect with regularly to make sense of the changes, or schedule an hour weekly to let yourself fall apart. But I encourage you to find ways to allow some of these feelings to surface. You might not feel ready to fully acknowledge the severity of your diagnosis and how it’s going to change your life-it may feel unsafe or unhelpful to do so. Instead I pushed myself past my new limits until I crashed. I didn’t give myself the opportunity to grieve and begin processing this massive life change. But ultimately, trying to nurture my company and my health simultaneously led to burnout and even more sickness. In the early days of my cancer diagnosis, my career goals became my lifeline. Here are some steps you can consider as you reconcile this diagnosis, and begin to dream again.
I also understand your ability to still dream in the face of your diagnosis is critical to you. As a cancer survivor and someone living with chronic illnesses, I see you, and I know your pain intimately. So often people try to bring up the silver linings immediately, or placate our pain when all we need is someone to bear witness to our experience. You are in the midst of the chaos and the upheaval, and there are very few things that I can say to make things better.
Having an unexpected diagnosis or life event that changes everything is wildly destabilizing.
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